It is slowly dawning on me that I have a new job.
My wife and I continue to spend a lot of time at the hospital. She spends more time there than I.
Before my son’s accident my schedule looked something like this:
5 a.m. to noon. Study Greek, study Latin, blog, write, respond to emails, work on this website.
Noon to 4 p.m. or, so. Learn with my daughters, online education with my daughters, explore/learn the city of Athens in preparation for upcoming short-term mission teams.
Since my son’s accident, life has been a confusing jumble. For the first two weeks or so, my son needed 24-hour monitoring. My wife took days and I took nights. During the nights, he would wake up every hour asking to leave the hospital, asking to go home, or asking to go to the restroom. He was delirious. He was so drugged up he had no idea where he was. He didn’t know why he was tied to his bed. It was an exhausting two weeks. In the morning, I would go home and sleep. My wife would head back to the hospital to watch my son during the day.
My girls tried to homeschool themselves as best they could.
During these two weeks, I stopped teaching. I fell incredibly behind. All of the plates I had spinning hit the floor. I remain incredibly behind.
My son no longer needs 24/7 monitoring. He is slowly recovering. He has a very long way to go. We received some depressing news yesterday. His left hand isn’t really working.
Since I am no longer monitoring my son at night, I foolishly thought I could return to normal. This week, reality grabbed the front of my shirt and shoved me to the wall. Reality asked me some questions I couldn’t answer.
Instead of catching up, I continue to fall further behind. I don’t have 5 a.m. to noon to work anymore. If I am lucky, I have 5 a.m. to 7 a.m. Two hours to answer hundreds of emails. Two hours to grade hundreds of assignments. Those assignments are written in Latin and Greek, by the way. It’s tough to rush through that kind of work. Two hours to study. Two hours to read, blog, and write.
It isn’t possible.
However, quitting is not an option. This is how I provide for my family. This is how I begin to pay the medical bills.
Last night, I admitted what I did not want to admit. My son’s accident has created a new job for me. My paying job will have to be pushed again to the fringes. I have to resurrect an old habit. It’s time to get back up at 3 in the morning.
If you have read my book, Via, you know that for a period of ten years, or so, I rose at three, sometimes two in the morning. I used the extra four, or five hours a day to write Visual Latin and Via. I used the extra time to study Latin and Greek. I used the extra time to build this website. When financial freedom finally showed up, I stopped getting up at insane hours. I started working during the daylight.
Since my son wrecked, I have lost those daytime hours. At first, I didn’t want to admit it. But, it didn’t matter that I didn’t want to face the truth. The truth showed up anyway. The division of labor in our home has collapsed. My wife has a new job. She is now taking care of my son full-time. All that she once did now falls on myself and my girls. We live in a new house (rented). We live in a new city (confusing). We are down to one car (rented).
There is too much to learn. There is too much to take care of. On top of taking care of my son full-time, my wife is bogged down in bureaucratic medical and insurance paperwork. There is no end in site.
Daily, I fall further behind. I need more time. The only option is to trade sleep for time. Back to work at three in the morning.
Please be patient with me. I am trying to catch up.
– Dwane
